Contested

My head don't feel like no kinda right lately. Not sure why, other than the many possible factors it could be. My sleep has been irregular, but then, it's been irregular for years. I don't eat properly, likely not nearly as much of the nutrition my nervous system needs. Winter here isn't what I've become used to for the past 27 years, so it could be the climate and my maladjustment to it. Or maybe it's this weight on my conscience, which is heavy and untenable.

My ghost story has been judged, and once again I did not make the second round. In fact, I did not make the top 5. I sent e-mails to the top two for copies of their stories, and so far after reading the second-place story, I'm once again bitter.

Listen, I'm well aware that I've a fluctuating ego. That other people won't think my writing is as good as I do. Well aware. This said, her story neither was spectacular. Now I'm wondering if the judges in this contest are looking for something utterly specific, something familiar. I await the judge's reviews and criticism of my story, which should come within a few months. Maybe they'll give me the same contradictory and unhelpful advice that I got last year.