Show Don't Tell

A friend once told me a writing technique called show don't tell. I've used this immensely in writing ever since, but in the middle of October I began to understand its deeper significance. It's not just a saying: it is a reflection upon living.

In every relationship I've been in, I have been selfish. In an attempt to make things easier on me, I've often accepted the idiosyncrasies of my partner. Even at times when it compromised my integrity and the strength of the relationship, I ignored these concerns. I focused on what I was attracted to and dreamed up perfect lives that we would have, defining an arbitrary standard of greatness to cling to even when everything seems the opposite.

Doing this as routine for the past several years has seen me through the most painful moments of my life. I found comfort in putting myself second, and now I see that being second in a relationship also means you're last. To win, it has to be a tie.

What I realized a month ago is that I can recite this over and over, word for word. But that doesn't mean a thing. It must be shown.