Back To Normal

Lately I've been feeling the same nausea that I had before my tooth was cut out. It's not as dominant as it was before, and I haven't actually been sick, but I can feel it setting in. The roots of the tooth weren't completely removed so I think there's a possibility that some of the infection is still sitting there, plotting all sorts of evil like it would in a kid's cartoon. Ironically, I think the villain's name would be Dr. Root...

(Yes, it really is ironic, and if you don't get it then you were never supposed to.)

Excellence In German Engineering

Year: 2000
Make: Volkswagen
Model: Passat

Known security feature: if the driver's door is unlocked using the keyless entry, it will automatically lock after a minute if the door is not opened.

Security feature learned this morning: if the driver's door is unlocked using the keyless entry, it will automatically lock after a minute if the door is opened, the keys are put into the ignition, and the door is closed again.

Post-Op

The tooth that was removed smells absolutely foul, and leaves me wondering very little as to the source of my former discomfort.

Pre-Op

Today is a day like any other that I've had in the past several months. I woke up restlessly much earlier than I wanted, unable to get back to sleep and unwilling to face the day's darkness. My health, as I've become accustomed to, is unpleasant. It feels as though I could be sick at any moment, that I have little control over my self. This afternoon is the first part of the dental work and I can only hope - but I can hope as much as I ever have - that I feel closer to well afterwards.

Innerstrength

We are a strange fruit that bruises too easily when it falls. Occasionally we find ourselves on the ground, sending a pathetic look back up at the branch we used to be on and wishing we'd held on a bit longer. It could have been perfect. But then we think of why we fell and it makes sense. The winter wind was weakening you, your grip was giving, and worse still - it was simply the right time. That was as close to perfect as you would ever be.

Inside you is the seed of happiness, under layers of skin that have been hardened and calloused like a shield. The seed is revealed as your skin decays and crumbles away, and what follows in its proper course is a mighty tree that grows ever mightier with each season. Its body is strong and dense, and it only gets taller and more invulnerable.

You create seeds of happiness on your fingertips and hold on to them as long you can.

And I know this is where you are now, and I know that you don't really believe me, but one day you're going to send a pathetic look down at the ground around you and wonder when you're going to lose those bits of happiness. Your mind will wander and you'll worry that you'll never be this close to something perfect again. You'll panic, but try not to. There will be other moments soon.

Shooting

Late Friday night, we were standing out in an empty field far from the overpowering glow of the city, looking up at the same constellation, when a bright star shot across the sky. I felt so privileged to have witnessed such an amazing coincidence with such close friends. It felt as though at that moment I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I made a wish then but I’ll never tell what it was. That’s how wishes are ruined.

A Great Big Lie

If you were there, you would have seen smiling and laughing and friendship. But you weren't there, I was. And I saw symbolism everywhere I looked. I saw things that meant more figuratively than they ever could literally. And maybe if you were there, you would have seen this too. But you weren't. I was. So all you can do is take my word for it.

When I was younger, I came across the same dilemma, and now it was like a moment of fear trapped and recurring, still chilling me after so many years. But now I wasn't afraid. I went faster, leaning as far as I could to the side to stay balanced. To maintain control. Back then, stopping seemed like the only solution when the situation exploded beyond my ability. But now I know better. Now I know that sometimes you have to speed up before you can slow down.

There was symbolism everywhere. Maybe I put it there myself, in my mind. That's what a writer does, after all. They see, they interpret, and they re-create with reflective clarity. Occasionally they exaggerate meaning, or scenario, or character. But sometimes it's necessary to lie to the audience. It's unknowingly expected, because the truth never sounds right. It's dreary and dull and drawn out. Just trust me. I was there.

With A Question Mark, To Emphasize Uncertainty

And so, as things always seem to happen, my surgery is going to take longer than originally expected. My dentist said it would take 4 months but today the surgeon told me 9 months. Now I'm wondering when I'll ever get to leave this country, as all my formerly realistic estimations are becoming even further delayed. All I want is some change in my life and I'm not all that concerned with what form it takes, so long as it distracts from this... life?

Sometime, Now

I was sick Monday morning and Tuesday evening, both times directly related to my tooth. I've managed to get my consultation moved up to this Friday, but when I'll finally get this rotten thing extracted, I'm not sure. And my tongue, as curious as it ever was, wants to play with the tooth like some eager puppy, and it's taking more than the restraint I have to stop it.

Last night, I waited for her on the platform by the trains. I watched her step out the door, adjust her jacket, and walk right by me. It amused me to follow her unnoticed, at an arm's length behind; and yet, as amusing as it was, I'm grinning more today than I was then.

Cut!

So I finally heard the results of that writing contest, and they're good! Not for me necessarily, but for a couple of other writers who are honestly quite lousy, the results were favourable! Seriously, I really don't mind losing except when it's to something that is clearly inferior! Of the top five finalists in my heat, I only read two, but both of them were horrible. The first used as its main comedic character George Bush, whose only dialogue seemed to be taken from his many ignorant quotes! How uncreative do you have to be to use an established character? The whole point of the contest was to be creative, and that most certainly is not! The other piece was choppy and felt more like a play about some guy's wet dream than any kind of story. Needless to say, which doesn't explain why I've gone to such lengths to say it, I'm quite disappointed.

Oh well, at least I've got my health. Oh, right, about that...